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i didn�t sleep too well last night.
i don�t know, i guess partially because i was waiting for you, partially because other things where bothering me.
some involved you, some didn�t, honestly i don�t know whats been up with me lately.
Well, that�s not true, to an extent. i was thinking about this last night after you left, waiting for you to call (oh, did I mention i got bored and broke down and made that damn list?) anyways something hit me � nothing has changed, just about everybody and everything is just the same as it was a year ago, there are some differences, but for the most part i might as well of not been two thousand miles away. all the realizations and the growing and the changes inside of me, they mean right now. and no one really cares. i suppose not really even me, how can i when no one else does? it�s like the last year in california never happened or was just a dream i mean no one is different, theres still all the same old , and once again i�m stuck going no where and everyone is about to leave. and my plan of saying the hell with everyone and moving to omaha (why omaha? i don�t know it sounds nice) well i�ve told everyone about that plan so even if i did it people could still find me i�m sure, so now i have to find some other small middle america town to disapear into. i suppose if i can�t get out, if people can�t change, if there is no way up to go then well i might as well just disapear. it�s like the bright eyes song goes �and i�ll give myself three days to feel better or else i swear i�ll drive right off a cliff, cause if i can�t make myself feel better how can i expect anyone else to give a ?�
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