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i rode to her house cause i was affraid she wasn't alone. in the fifteen minute ride that changed or she actually was.
i met her there it was around 4:30 the days where starting to get dark at that time, but it was still sunny as we stepped off her front porch. we walked in relative silence and the setting light all the way down to the corner store. occasionally i would take her hand or look at her untill she would look back and smile. my fears where eating away at me inside, i hadn't eatten in a day or two and the mountain dew really wasn't going to do me much good especially with the bike ride home.
on the way back to her house i asked her how she felt about it all, what was going on, if i shoul dlet her go. if that was what she wanted i would have done so without a fight, ...i told her so. we stopped on the island in the middle of the street. she took my hand, look me in the eye,'stop being paranoid. there is nothing else going on with him or anyone else, we are just friends. ...i love you.' i gave her a hug and walked her home again in silence. said our goodbyes, i got my little peck on the cheek, another reasurance, another 'i love you.' i said it back got on my bike and headed home.
i rode home in a silent world, the cars the birds the breeze, none of it made a sound. i got home and it was dark, i took my cold dinner to my room but just layed on the floor looking up at the stars. ...i wanted so much to believe her, i loved her baddly, but somehow i knew even if she wasn't capable of lying to my face with a smile(which i hoped she wasn't) it was over and she was gone.
and it was, i have't spoken to her since, well beyond getting a few items back, but even if i wanted to, and i did, i couldn't cause she was always with him. the one that wasn't a threat cause she loved me and he was a dick. ...it's been a little over four years, they are still together, and i'm still insecure.
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