[9:12 p.m.] : [2013-01-22]
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23 Nov - On an airplane Woke up to Los Angeles out of the window to my left. We're over the water and below I can see the white of waves breaking on the beaches and the first thought in my head is, "I wonder if I've surfed there before or not." I don't know this stretch of coast line well enough to tell what's Malibu or Santa Monica, what's Venice, what's Manhattan or Rodando. And I'm also thinking about Beth, but I think about Beth a lot these days. At the moment it's simultaneously two things. 1.) The conversation we had last night. We sat on her bed and I switched between watching her talk, it makes her uncomfortable but I really just like looking at that girl, and watching her hands as she talks. She drives me crazy sometimes, she's just so damn cute. There was a specific instance where I was watching her talk and her hands were tapping out some piece of music she had in her head on the invisible keyboard provided by her comforter. I wanted so much to lean in and kiss her at that moment. But, it is rude to interrupt a person when they're talking and she was explaining Promise Keepers to me. I've been familiar with the organization for years, I was also the one who initially brought it up so the explanation was her letting me know why it is good. She was talking about how women are more actively religious than men and how it's a good opportunity for men to have a chance to get together with thousands of other men to bond and share and experience things. She was talking about men being better men by being men together. All I could do as I watched her talk was smile and shake my head to myself cause she was just too damn cute to interrupt with my two cents. I didn't have the heart to tell her she didn't know a damn thing about what it takes to be a man, that the best way to build a man is almost the exact opposite of what she was saying and to a certain degree at the heart of it that's why I'm on this airplane. That's why I'm taking this trip. Because sometimes a man needs to be alone. You want to make a man? Put him alone one a mountain miles from anyone else and even further from civilization and leave him to swing an ax. 2.)Her neck. Her hair is cropped very short so it is always exposed. Sometimes she'll wear something with buttons and a loose collar and on display at the bottom of the length of her neck is her clavicle and something about it all seems strong and smooth and sexy as hell. She doesn't know and I'm sure as shit not going to tell her cause if I did I'm certain she'd always wears scarves from that point forward. But damn can it be distracting, I just want to pull her close and kiss her neck gently and kiss her mouth in a way Hemingway would describe in a book as 'long, and hard, and good.' I think I just want to kiss that girl all the damn time. I recognize it is a major distraction, but I sure don't think of it as a problem. |
