[1:41 a.m.] : [2012-03-27]
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I had a dream last night. I haven't been doing that very much lately. There is this girl I used to know. In the dream I was driving down the road. Stopped at an intersection I looked over and pumping gas was the guy she has chosen to be with instead of me in the time between her asking me to move back to be with her and my moving back to be with her. I put my car into park, left it sitting at the light, and beat the living fuck out of him. He didn't see it coming. And as I was kneeling over him with one hand holding him up just high enough that his head wouldn't smack the concrete while the other made slow deliberate impacts with his face I could see in his eyes he had no idea who I was. I kept punching. Once I was finished I slowly got up, and with another mans blood on my hand and shirt walked away leaving my car still running in the lane. Door open. She came to see me. She wanted to know why I had done it, what I was thinking. I looked her in the eye and told her, "It was cathartic." She claimed that to be a terrible answer to which I replied I owed her no good ones and I continued with nothing but the truth. When I woke up I know I woke up smiling and I let myself lay in bed until I understood why. Every time before that I had a dream of her there had been a desire and that desire was always for her and that desire had always been unfulfilled. This time however I smiled not because I saw her, or even because I had crushed him, but rather because the only thing that had truly mattered to me deep inside, in that subconscious state, was that I be an honest man. |
