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Did it all get real, I guess it's real enough. They got refrigerators full of blood. Another century spent pointing guns. At anything that moves.
last weekend i found myself out with a bunch of people. we got together at sarah's and went dancing. sometimes i think there is something wrong with me and i never know how to put my finger on just what it is. i spent most of the evening wondering what the hell i was doing there.
Sometimes I worry that I've lost the plot. My twitching muscles tense my flippant thoughts. I never really dreamed of heaven much. Until we put him in the ground. But it's all I'm doing now. Listening for patterns in the sound. Of an endless static sea.
obviously i wanted to spend time with her, but i don't want to take up all her time or take her away from her friends. i just don't think i relate to certain people or settings and sometimes i feel i just should of stayed home or something. it's nothing against her friends, i had friends of my own and most of the night i still felt out of place.
But once the satellite's deceased. It blows like garbage through the streets. Of the night sky to infinity. But don't you weep. Don't you weep for them. There is nothing as lucky, as easy, or free.
Don't be a criminal in this police state. You better shop and eat and procreate. You got vacation days then you might escape. To a condo on the coast.
i don't know what it is, sometimes when we're together i feel like such a little boy. it's not the age thing. maybe it's something to do with the fact that i know i'm planning on leaving. if i had a date set would it make anything easier? would it change anything?
I set my watch to the atomic clock. I watch the crowd count down till the bomb gets dropped. I always figured there'd be time enough. I never let it get me down. But I can't help it now.
i've been trying to take things at their own pace and on thier own merit and i've been increadibly happy. but still i know i'm planning on leaving and it is something we've never addressed (are we avoiding it?) i suppose i could bring it up but it is something i can't really appologize for it so what can i do, i want to love her.
Looking for faces in the clouds. I got some friends I barely see. But we're all planning to meet. We'll lay in bags as dead as leaves. All together for eternity. But don't you weep.
i'm doing all i can to let myself be happy and honest with her which is such a nice change of pace from my self impossed restraint of my last relationship. i sometimes feel awkward, i'm not always sure what to say, something i know there is nothing i can say to change something i'm not sure if i should say somethings i'm trying to wait out. still i'm trying to not let my neuroses get in the way, i'm just pushing threw things like feeling out of place to enjoy the slow dances.
Don't you weep for us. There is no one as lucky. Honey, don't you weep.
Don't you weep for us. There is nothing as lucky, as easy, or free.
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