[1:14 a.m.] : [2004-12-25]
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there's this girl who is in my life and for the life of me i don't know why. well, i lie, i do know why. i just wish (for her sake) it isn't true. it's not so much because i hate to be a disappointment, i'm okay with being a let down. it's more that i'm being greedy and telling myself it's because she needs the positive attention. of course i know that if i'm really being selfish any attention will not, in the end, be possitive. but, what am i going to do? that is what i've been asking myself for months and i seem to keep answering myself in the same way. nothing. there is this other girl who is not in my life. i expect no reply or acknowledgment from her. and i am counting the days untill i can celebrate a loss. and it is all another mental handicap that i can not seem to over come. and there is a part of me that whispers the two are related. |
