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I think it's going to rain, rain down.
four a.m. the rain starts like clock work. if i had half a brain i would start my route earlier so i could be done with it by this time and climbing snugly back into my dry bed with my new warm quilt. but no, i have half a paper route to finish in fourty degrees and a steady rain driving a car with it's windshilds fogged and side windows down.
i think i like it, the feeling of being all cold and wet and miserable. i do it to myself, i must, after all i could just start the route earlier, right?
i don't know. i've been getting so little sleep lately and not giving a rats ass about much. i've been thinking maybe i need a vacation. i've been thinking that for a while now and i've been telling myself in a month once i get my raise i will, after all it will be an extra quarter an hour for doing nothing than if i took my vacation now.
i was thinking about a vacation while trowing papers out of my window into the rain this morning and i think that maybe a vacation is the last thing i need. because lately i've been in a restless mood, i don't know why. i want to get out... i don't know what of, if it's this town or my job or relationship or friendships or life. but i don't know where i would go. i have nothing drawing me to it, nothing reaching out from twothousand miles away.
while i was thinking this morning with the rain coming sideways into my car i was thinking (insert thought bubble)"how can i take off from this and then come back to it and just pick it right back up without blinking. it's not like i have an overwhelming desire to abandon my life, i have no real complaints, it's just that i don't think that if i left i couldn't not stay gone."
Discard this message
Throw this bottle back in the ocean
Rip this page from the history books
Smash all the street signs
Erase all the maps
Forget my name
Forget my face
Because it's going to rain
And it never ends
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