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Everyday I wake up in a new world
The weather's just as bad
and it looks the same
But every morning
hosts a new beginning
And curses me with a brand new name
it is appropriate, really. i've been waking up almost daily with this song popping into my head right away. it's mainly because of my dreams, the dreams i've been having lately. i've had them before, when i say that i don't mean it's a reoccuring dream ...actually it is and it isn't... the events and charecters are not the same but the idea and the feeling of and after is the same.
I fell in love again today
I think that's been everyday this week
I don't need to know a thing about them
I don't need to know a name or hear them speak
i wake up and it is that bit that comes in my head it it's thick scottish voice (the singer of the song has the thick scottish voice, my voice in my head). i know i've made a previous entry, a very long time ago, about what i'm talking about. in my dreams i will meet a girl, just a chance meeting a bumping into and there is something in their eye, a look, and there is a click and everything simplifies and works it self out and i know i am in love. and i wake and the song starts in my head. and i feel alone.
Maybe I'm just giving too much away
The real me's too easily revealed
I didn't think I was looking for a girlfriend
But then again I thought all my wounds had healed
the feeling of being alone isn't a sadness like i've felt it be before it's more a reminder of where everything is in my life, a perspective thing. i'm not lonely and aching for a girl to love me, but it is always nice to have someone to cuddle with.
You cracked a joke
about a mid-life crisis
But realistically
I'm already half way gone
My eyes are wet when
I'm watching the telly
I'm completely sober
and I'm not even sure what's on
I think it's time
I started branching out
And work out when it's right
to keep my mouth shut
I think it's time I started staying in
And stop pretending that I'm just another slut
i've also had a couple of dreams with ashley, we just talk and stuff and it is nice, i miss her. and i've been missing her alot the last couple of days.
...when she told me not to call her anymore, that she didn't want to talk to me ever again i said ok and ment it. it wasn't something new, i've done it before, so i set myself to it as absurd as i thought it was, but it was what she wanted. i dug myself in and set myself for another long haul and she gave after just three days. so since we have talked and i have dreamed and i've had to keep telling myself deep down that it was all just a joke or a test of the emergency broadcast system, and at times... i don't know. like i said i've set myself for it before with alissa and i know i can hold, because i have held. but with alissa i had shit for a relationship for the better part of two years so it sucked and didn't suck at the same time when it came to what it came to. but with ashley is was all good when it came to what it came to and the it did come to that after all... (am i making sense?). and now i'm two thousand miles away and i'm dreaming of being in love and it's the same and different dream every night and i don't know what is going on tomorrow or tomorrow night and i'm just trying to make it from day to day and i really just want a hug from a cute girl.
I fell in love again today
I think that's been everyday this week
I don't need to know a thing about them
I don't need to know a name or hear them speak
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