[1:53 a.m.] : [2002-08-20]
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i've been having dreams lately. a lot of dreams, all different. like last night there was one in the middle of about five, i was in this parking lot and everything around it was white, i can't really explain that further, but it wasn't important. i was walking alone threw a group of people all towords our cars, i was talking out loud to myself and this little girl next to me looks up and says something stupid and i reply with a simple remark compleat with a few curse words. her mother is stunned and i explain the situation to her and walk away leaving her with her mouth opened at this guy who just cussed out her six year old. then in the parking lot i ran into this old girlfriend from jr high, well rather i avoided, i saw her and her familly and walked the other way. just random stuff filling my dreams and a lot of it. but a few dreams seem reccuring. i know they are not. but... there is another i had last night, it's like a bad story line to a Sandman comic i have yet to read. i'm driving across idaho, it's not any route i've ever taken before but it seems so long and familiar. it's dark, night is just beginning, it's cold, winter. i've got a full night of driving and i pull into the last stop before i reach my destination 300+ miles down the road. the building i stop at is alone in the middle of nowhere, it's a tavern/cafe type... it's dark inside, the whole place is wood, no windows or atleast it's too dark to tell, there are a few yellow bulbs from the ceiling of a hall. and there is blood. blood everywhere, i can't recall bodys, ok one down the hall in either a phone booth or small restroom. ...i'm not alone, a)there is actually someone traveling with me and the two of us have just stumbled upon something in the middle of nothing. b)someone else...the person responsible for the blood, it's not thier blood, but it is thier doing. at the time it felt like i'd had that dream before, a couple of times, everything seemed so familiar about it, ofcourse everything seemed familiar, the cabin/cafe felt like some place real i've stopped a dozen times making the drive across idaho on that back highway that i knew without a map. but i'm sure i've never had that dream before, of course that means nothing. in reality i've been looking for my about a boy soundtrack, i have this blank feeling about it, i know where it is, i don't know why i open all my disc cases to look inside. i know it is actually in idaho, sitting on the side of the road between the sugar city and the rexburg north exits. sitting there with reggie and the good life and if anyone has found them, they wont be appreciated. they couldn't be, not in that town. it makes me sad... what can i do, not a damn thing would make any difference, crying wont help and hating my dad will not help replace anything, i guess i'll have to go on hating for other reasons.
i want to thank everyone who still reads my jargon, everyone who keeps up with it anyways. it is terribly cool of you, especially jeff and others who signed my map. and ashley ok so i haven't been keeping up well with stuff and don't know when you changed your profile favorite discription stuff, but it is hellava rad, you rock (almost enough to be spelt rawk, if i could bring myself to feel good about spelling it like that, but i've got to have my pride).
iii' mgetting tired of |
