[2:34 a.m.] : [2002-06-05]
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"Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight. Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance, Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance. And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more- So I blame this town, this job, these friends -The truth is it's myself. And I'm trying to understand myself and pinpoint where i am. By the time I get things figured out I've change the whole damn plan. Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight" driving the town in which i used to live, passing by buildings i used to know, places i shopped, general landmarks of a lifetime spent. i drive by almost daily and all the things that once stood and mattered mearly pass by my window, the grocery store the schools and churches my old neighborhood and the house i haven't seen in two years now. all these things they don't exist anymore, not to me, not in real life. all they are are shells of memories from when they had different names, or were cow pastures, or where called home by someone else. 18 years worth of city and planning, all of it nonexisting everyday outside my window and in my memory. "Talking shit about a pretty sunset. Blanketing opinions that i'll probably reget soon. I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it... My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself." |
