[3:07 a.m.] : [2002-05-21]

"In the last second of life, they're gonna show you how How they run this show, sure, run it into the ground The stars are projectors, yeah Projectin� our lives down to this planet Earth" a friend of mine was on the phone the other day and mentions that she'd seen this girl around. me-good, good for you. so you may not know this, many people don't. i was a high school drop out. it is true. the best experience of all my schooling. senior year i knew i wasn't going to graduate on time so i didn't let my parents waste their money on graduation announcements and such tomfoolery. i sat back, didn't do any homework, and watched my friends send out hundreds of cards to distant family and friends and i watched them benifit from it financialy, enough so that they where able to pay for computers, college, cars and so forth. mean while my mother invested in summer school for me. "Everyone wants a double feature They wanna be their own damn teacher, and how" this friend of mine said something the other day like you don't really care much do you? the graduation commencment for everyone but me was lovely, summer school was a fackin' insult. after two days, i returned the copy of a book my teacher told me i had analized completly wrong and told her thank you for the time, but i've had enough. she looked at me puzzed and i walked back out the door. you see, i had interupted her class about three hours after class was supposed to start. i showed up and instead of an excuse and taking my seat i said good bye and left. there was no refund of money invested in said summer school and i informed the administration i compleatly understood and they could still kiss my ass about it. i left that school with no plans of further high school education and feeling better than ever. of course for my own sake three weeks later i did a credit by exam thing and got my diploma. i joke about it with my dad, whenever we get graduation announcements from cousins or freinds of family, i say something like i wish the only thing i regret is not sending out announcments cause now i have to work for fundings. my fathers memory has been slipping for a while now, not too terribly much, but somethings. when i joke about the graduation thing he always says well we could get send out announcements now, but i decline. he has given me about five graduation cards saying he is proud of me in the last two years since getting my diploma. i made an announcment comment the other day and came home tonight to another card on my door. it is a nice card, funny, appropriate...finding things like that on my door when i come home at two in the morning always makes me feel alone. me-should i? we have conversed maybe three times in the last year. so should i care at all? it's hasn't been warm lately, the weather isn't what it should be this time of year. in the last eight days i've needed my hoodie three times. "It's all about moderate climates You gotta be cold and be hot for sure It's all about the moderate climates You wanna be blessed and be cursed for sure"

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