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funny story, true story:
so i arrive at her school to meet her for lunch as discussed for aproximitly 35 seconds on sunday. pulling into the parking lot i did not see her van, but i parked and went inside the physical education building where she has her dance classes and where i usually meet her.
my watch and the clock in my car and the one hanging from the ceiling of the hall outside of her classroom all had differnt times so i'm still not sure what the real time was (time confusses me anyways) but it was between 11:55a.m. and 12:00p.m.(noon)
her class lets out about 11:45a.m. and no one was in the room, i walked around the halls for a couple of minutes incase she was changing, but normally it doesn't take her all that long to change.
so i fugure that a) i didn't see her and b) i didn't see her van maybe she waited for me for a bit and went to lunch without me, or got dragged out with one of her freinds in dance.
normally i would think it odd for her to leave, but she had a shortend amount of time for lunch yesterday (which was also part of said discussion on sunday) and given a shortend time to get food she would of been more likely to not wait so long for me, given in the past i've always been early or atleast on time.
i go out to my car, and drive down the road looking for her van in one of the parking lots of the food establishments near by the school
i see nothing. i return to the school.
i wonder if she remembered the conversation, i figured yes, probly so, but given that she mentioned that she was not going to have the normal alotted time frame to work with and given the fact that we had not discussed it since sunday i wondered if she had dissmised the idea.
back at school, i see her van, drive by(don't ask me why, maybe thinking she might be in it? i don't know, it was something to do, especially since i was feeling very foolish about the whole event at this time)
by this time it was about 12:10-12:20ish and i wasn't sure what i was doing there anymore seeing as if i did find her she would soon be having to change and getting on with her day and said events that where cutting short said planned lunch.
but i park and go back into her building anyways expecting that if i where to find her that she would be with friends of hers who i do not know and was anticipating feeling very awkward as i explained that i was running late and there was traffic and such, because given the other option of telling her in front of others i was driving around trying to find you at sonic and such would just seem a bit wierd....for me anyways to say the least.
but i walk back in the physical education building and still no ashley. i waited for another couple of minutes with various people sitting around giving me looks which made me feel even more uncomfortable.
i came to the conclusion she was, if to be found out with a friend(s) in thier vehicle or hiding on another part of the campass, and i didn't have the slightest idea where to begin looking.
feeling very foolish, embaressed, and dissapointed i got into my car, put on my modest mouses album building nothing out of something and left. resolved to not bring up the subject with her, because i had just about convinced myself she had forgotten about the whole lunch plans, or had given up on me showing for any number of reasons.
i make the drive home and upon returning defeated and hungry i make the discovery that garage boy had taken the phone reciever off the base of the phone which is in the (useless)computer room. i hang the dead line up and conferming my suspiciouns notice that my answering machine has no new messages.(oh, for those of you who don't know garage boy is my step brother who has been banished from his room to the garage because he is a certified hood-rat in dire need off multiple ass kickings for doing stupid stuff like said phone thing, wearing my socks, using my razor, and leaving my HUM t-shirt on the bathroom floor dirty(which i don't even want to get started on that topic) anyways maybe i'll go into greater detail about this waste of fleash at a later time). anyways my phone line had been tied up, oh probly since i left the house. so if ashley or anyone had tried to call my line would of been busy, but i didn't know if she had even tried to call.
from work last night on my break i check my machine, and there was a message from ashley in reference to her noticing my failure to appear for said lunch date, and she noted that my phone had been busy when she tried to call.
and she sounded quite very upset(about lunch or something else i'm not sure.)
so i call her.
i intend to clearify the lunch situation and make apologies for missing each other and let her know that no i was not sitting at home on the phone ignoring the fact that we where supposed to be doing somehting.
she still sounded upset when she picked up and was heading out the door, so all i can do is let her go, with lunch unresolved.
so i call her cell phone this afternoon while she has class, with plans to leave a voice mail telling all of the above in detail and so on, but she picks up.
she says she can't talk because she is inclass and i say i know i was planning on leaving a voice mail,
but the moment had passed and i gave up on that idea....
grrr.
i think this is one of those entries that goes on for ever and doesn't really have any formal kind of ending, or atleast i can't think of one
i'm sure, she'll read this, but how soon? i have no idea, untill then i'll probly just say nothing on the topic or just apologize and if she is upset in anyway about it she will probly stay upset...
it rained last night, the day is gray, everything is damp.
i tried to write about yesterdays events at kinkos last night, but it just didn't come out right, lately i just don't know what to write, the chances i get to update are few and far between and i never know which events to put down,
my brain is still trained to make accounts as they unfold and save them for later transfer to this form, but i seldom get the chance to do so... i don't know
i finished the Plauge and The Death Of Ivan Ilych this past week, i've also been drawing alot.
i started Dubliners by James Joyce and i've seen some really good show, and there are some really good shows still to come, gloria on saturday, i haven't seen hubbard since the sacramento show, also weezer and jimmy the monday after thanksgiving in san antonio,
excitment is high, money is low.
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