[11:40 p.m.] : [2001-07-21]

"and with pride i'll keep every failure in." the way i see it it is like this, (tonight for example). there are two options i can fight back and play the games, or i can just take all the $#!+ . i am to damn tired to fight, so i just take the $#!+,(what else can i do?). "I scream into the wind and laugh As the words slap me in the face I would gladly trade a lifetime of convenience For and honest day or two" i never said i thought we would make it. all i asked was if we where going to try. "It's been so long since I've stood on my two feet I'd really rather lay here and pretend But people like you and me never get that peace It comes from denying that everything is so screwed up It's so screwed up I stand on a building and throw up my arms to the sky I swallow my pride and admit That it's not always best to understand the reason why. It's just not the same when you wake up in the morning With a smile on your face When you know you lied yourself to sleep to make it better To make it better" i have changed, and so much has happend that i have been told nothing about, i know so facking little, so how am i supposed to take anything anymore. and i was unaware this week was a trial run, i thought stuff was still unsettled, other wise i might have been different. but what can i do??? i can't read your mind. "And happiness is just a dream or so it seems It's something that I can never see And I just want to lay my head in your arms And bleed awhile Sunshine go away I don't want to play Come back again some other day When I've got something beautiful to say And stay awhile"

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