[4:01 p.m.] : [2001-05-03]
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well my desperation for money and a job have found me back in employment with the pizza industry. its only two days a week and a better wage than i've had before, i wish it hadn't come to this but like i said i need a little extra income. actually what i need is to get away from here, i don't know why i've really stayed this long, i suppose i just don't have anywhere better to go, or atleast i'm just not sure of how to get to anywhere better. all i really know is i desperately need a change from everything, lately i've just been left with such a worn out feeling from everything, and this routine i have just isn't doing it for me anymore. i really need somehting different. right now i sleep till 10 minutes before class rush to school, find lunch at around 2 go home try to keep myself busy and ignore the fact that i desperatly need a girlfriend and end up going to sleep around 2 however if you where to ask what keep me up till to i would not be able to answer you. everything is such a worn out routine, my days, my time online, my conversations, her, i'm even to the point where record shopping is starting to feel like a chore and if you don't know me you should know that those people who do know me are probly really really worried by that statment. hell i'm starting to worry myself. i just really need to get away from here. its like that bad religion line 'southern californina will destroy you' only i guess the process is a little more of just a wearing down period as you get more north. however on the up side(i suppose it could be considered the up side) since i have found myself thinking very little about the girl i told off the other day as opposed to her always being on my mind prior to said telling off. |
