[11:25 p.m.] : [2005-05-08]

thursday night all i wanted was a hug. i was suprised with what i got instead. fastforward for a moment to friday night. i'm sitting in gstreet talking to my buddy duane. D:so, what did you end up doing for cinco de mayo? M: ...ummm, i think i got dumped. D:really? M:i don't know. last week sucked. it was just a waste of a week. i just can't say how much of a throw away week it was so i will say no more on the topic. lets step back to thursday evening for a moment if we can. so i'm standing in my closet hanging up some stuff and i finally realizes what alissa had ment when she told me i should fight for what i want. okay, so what i realized may not have actually been what she was talking about, but for the first time i think i might be close. it occured to me that not once while sarah had been over telling me she wasn't sure if we should continue seeing each other did i get pissed or curse or simply tell her that i would really rather not break up. instead i had done what i normally do, played nice. okay, i am nice. so what? i mean i wanted to swear a bit at her and tell her she was talking stupid... i just didn't. at the time i wished i had. this week however has started out just fine. long story short we are not broken up. and as much as the weekend sucked, i think it did us some good. hopefully we have resolved our current issues and can get back to holding hands and watching cartoons. i am looking forward, very much, to putting it between myself and last week.

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