[1:05 a.m.] : [2002-09-05]
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what was it i was planning on saying here fifteen minutes ago? well it slips my mind...oh wait yes, it was along the lines of this [D]I dreamed about killing you [A]again last night [G]And it felt alright to me [D]Dying on the banks of [A]Embarcadero skies [G]I sat and watched you bleed [D]Buried you alive in a [A]fireworks display [G]Raining down on me i went outside with davey tonight while he took a smoke break, i sat on the trunk of my car and flipped through the free press, read red meat and life in hell and was looking for the concert updates when somehow i got sucked into an article about lance bass in space...i'm as confused not just by the concept of lance bass in space, but as to why exactly i was reading said article...so davey had finished smoking and went back inside and i was enjoying sitting on my trunk alone in the night reading. my dad pulled into the parking lot and the spot next to me, wednesday night is scouts and he is scout master and my work is on the way home from the meeting and about the only time i see him is when he stops by the store on the way to or from someplace. i guess tonight they made pudding; he rolled down his window and asked me if i needed any chocolet pudding, yes. who doesn't? so he hands me this tupper ware container that has like five pounds of pudding, man thats a lot of pudding, but a bit much to tackle at the time, i notice he has some cups and offer to trade the tub-o-pudding for a cup he hands me like six cups and spoons and says "how many people are working tonight? maybe they would like some pudding." it's one of those things like i don't know...i know he is trying but at the same time there is still stuff i'm totally pissed off about and he doesn't understand, and the pudding is a great guesture...but what am i going to do walking back into work with a tub of chocolet pudding? if other people where working it might of been different, but the crew tonight i just felt bad about it because it would go to waste and then there would be this tub of mystery pudding for the next couple of crews that would then go to waste... the guesture would go to waste and i would feel bad...so i stick the pudding tub and cups and spoons in my car after my father drive off...i still feel bad. D A G D A G I printed my name on the back of a leaf And I watched it float away The hope I had in a notebook full of white dry pages Was all I tried to save But the wind blew me back via Chicago In the middle of the night And all without fight there are entries in my mind i would like to make, but very little i have to say, this started as a form of self reflection/inspection of sorts, and at a point like everyone else i start writing entries in my mind in the middle of the day, and at that point i can look inside from a different perspective and i've had a lot of ideas and realisations lately, nothing monumental but some very important things to me nevertheless...the easiest thing to say is just that i've been feeling wierd lately alot... D A G D A G I know I'll make it back One of these days and turn on your TV To watch a man with a face like mine Being chased down a busy street When he gets caught I won't get up And I won't go to sleep I'm coming home, I'm coming home Via Chicago
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