|
ozma played a good set
and nada surf is such a great band.
i stopped by your work because i wanted to see you, it has been a week
i wanted to tell you i missed you. i wanted to hear it back.
but you just spoke of your trip (i'm not even sure where you went) and your friends and the fun that you had and i don't even think you thought of me at all.
honestly though i am glad you had a good time, i really am.
i'm sorry for the way i am,
i just wish the things that matter to me mattered to you, or atleast i could somehow make you understand.
like why i write this crap in this diary and not in a letter, i guess somehow it's easier this way? like theres a chance you will never read this or any of the entries of the last few weeks. and if you never read this then you won't know what this says and i can just pretend with you that everything is ok.
i don't want to pretend with you that everything is ok. i want you to be able to talk to me, i want you to try, i want something other than a call at three a.m. to tell me some relationship is over that you never even told me had begun.
it's late and i can't sleep because i have this crap all going threw my mind, and it's too late to call you, and beside you have company, and i don't know if any of this would even come out.
the truth is that it scares me just how much i like you, even with all the crap you put me threw.
it scares me all the changes that are coming up too soon, but for you i know that they are not soon enough.
and i'm sorry i can't be different, honestly i wish i could be everything that you need. and i hope someday you find it all
and i guess i'm just so scared to be alone.
| 