[10:10 a.m.] : [2001-06-06]
|
"i was nothing but a hole you nestled in and fell asleep. i stand in the shower and let the water roll across my body so i don't have to cry. i run the water a little to hot but the scorching feels good on my skin. i just stand and shiver, 'the good life' is playing in the background. "do you wonder how i am, or whatever became of me? what would i do without 'the good life'? but i wrap my arms around myself to keep the warmth and everything else 'in'. i read somewhere that monkeys wont let go of a vine or branch untill they have a hold on another. and i didn't know if i should cry or not, if the shaking was because i did not sleep at all last night or something else. and if it was should i let it come or let it go. i stuck my head under the faucet 'i am jacks fear of falling.' "i didn't want to cut that cord, you sucked the life right out of me." things are looking up. so why did i spend time on the floor in front of the toilet? and somehow it seemed familiar and apropriate. but i can't open up cause i'm still not sure if it is right for me to cry. "do you regret choices you've made? i took the picture off the wall with just one word. resolve. |
