[4:05 a.m.] : [2001-05-23]
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to me : "why am i sorry?i go on with all of this and then i'm sorry?sorry for what?not being able to talk to a friend?sorry for my feelings?why am i, to more than one party, just a girl?not a girlfriend, not a friend who's a girl, not a together-girl, but a girl whom that every guy that goes after her or attempts to be her friend then goes after her or pretends to be her friend just to go after her or tries to be her friend because he thinks he has no chance with her and then (...) ends up not a friend or to akward to be a friend or goes on to find ANOTHER PEICE OF GIRL TO GO AFTER?!?!?and why must every male have hidden intentions?why must they all just at the moment you think you've found a good friend say "oh, but i didn't want to just be your friend!"?girls... ha. everyone knows that girls and girls can't be friends. not with me anyways. maybe it's me?or my "chosing" of friends?i do have a bad judgement in character, heck... look at me so far! you. maybe that's why i chose to try to keep you as a friend. you were willing to be my "friend". ha, nobody else was. not with such nice agendas. no, everyone else wanted to backstab me. or just didn't want me. maybe you did too, but you didn't. you didn't. maybe it's the mood change, but they used to be brighter, or should i say lighter. at one point they were blue green on the outside and almost white in the center... go figure. or maybe you just took the light of my eyes when you went away." - how does one even begin to respond? - i can count on one hand and without using two of my five fingers the number of times she has opened up in such a way as this in the span of knowing her, and yet this whole time most of the shit has come cause all i've really wanted her to do is open up like this. some things can be so one sided, and not in your favor ...why do i feel like i should sign this entry -p1 or something along those lines? |
